How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
