She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
