Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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