he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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