You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
PANTIES FOUND
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
