Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize