Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
