she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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