She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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