Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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