I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
