Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
