this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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