Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
