Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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