Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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