We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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