It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
3pm strippers are depressing
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
