Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
