I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
