And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
