So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
