Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize