New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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