Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
