dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize