I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think I just sharted jello shots
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
