I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Vodka?
Forever.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
