I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize