Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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