dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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