Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
