Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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