Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
