you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
