i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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