Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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