WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
