If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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