this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
