I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize