just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
