And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
