He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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