i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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