you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
