I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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