He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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