is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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