I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize