I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
