Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Randomize
