Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
