You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
