yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
