also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
