I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
