okay pat passed out under dana's car
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
