Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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